Ok, so I've been gone for a while and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry guys, but things get crazy, you know? Work piles up, the monkies get out of their cages, and then you have to troll around town for psychadelic mushrooms so you can feel the music and get your first album to go gold before you realize there is no album, there were no monkies, and that wasn't a new toilet in the corner, just a pile of my old clothes. And while I think about what's been happening inside my brain the last three days, enjoy the first the first edition of the mailbag!
As always, all emails are completely unedited, so don't blame me if you're offended.
Doing great! Keep up the good work!
-Patrick Dobson
Pat: Thanks a lot!
Im very proud of you #1 son.
Love your dad
-Dad
Pat: You can't say that! You're not my father...! Oh....wait...you are. Well fine then.
In defense of a your honor,
In the words of Axl Rose "You better back off, back off bitch
Face of an angel with the love of a witch" I shall make some statments that that will rock your sober little world.
In my opening arguments I would like to state that even though this may be the first time that I have read this particular blog, this attacking post has affected a person like me, in a way that I must make a comment relating to this.
Alrighty, starting off, there are many people that don't want to go pay 10 dollars of their hard earned money to see some fucking movie. Pat cuts out the bullshit with a simple 2 page essay that I won't bother to read.
And for the Black Donnelly's, those assholes can go back to fuckin Ireland. I mean really, do we as Americans need another Boston based shitfest. Does anyone remember that the IRISH ARE EVERYWHERE. FUCKING BOSTON CAN LICK MY TAINT. FUCK that crappy show.
And your attack upon the Jesus figure as PAT. I mean really. Doesnt anyone get it. Fukcin JEsus is dead. 2000 years ago, can't forget the past can ya. Look at who gives a shit. In this generation those who have religion are almost a fuckin joke. YOU should know that MONEY RULES all. Golden fuckin rule, that and who holds the nickel plate makes the rules. This shit about religion may help yall out, but wake up I mean I gettin away from my defense here.
Oh yeah thank you Ms. Chef, I know the countless hours that you have spend in a fuckin kitchen cooking to mock another's skills. That is fucked there.
I think at the end of the day you fuckin christian folks who think you're so special should get off your high fucking horse and join the roman catholic religion. Instead of having that retarded special sense of righteousness try living with guilt no matter what you do. Yeah you can't cause in general you're all week as far as I give a shit.
On the subject fo Nancy Pelosi, I beleive that she is a useless pawn. Pat needs to focus on taking Hillary Klinton down a notch. That bitch is up to something. I mean if your are supposed to be from arkansas and you represent New york, you should be a lying bitch by default. All she had to do was buy some fuckin land on the finger lakes and sit on it for a little while. While the republican party is fucked beyond belief politically, the democratic party might as well sinead o'connor of political parties, that being stupid beyond belief.
In conclusion I hope this will greatly help towards creating some sort of rap fued. This could in general kick start the "Untitiled project" to new levels.
FUCKIN CHUCKLES
FUCKIN POST SCRIPT: Ted Nugent is the only one that can really make a difference. This man would go fight and kill anyone threatening the US of A.
-Fuckin' Chuckles
Pat: Alchohol can do terrible things to your brain. Stay in school kids.
(I think this was in response to Jessy G's blog post a ways back. She got a lot more email than I have so far.)
Pat,
i most certainly disagree with Jessy's heated post. It only reaffirms that you were right in your assessment that The Black Donnellys is a soft mafia show for chicks. Her main point in validating the merit of the show is that the actors are "HOTT". Enough said. I also put more stock into your critics, than i do in hers of you. Why? Simply because you are educated/informed of the topics about which you write. She on the other hand arrogantly assumed that she could pass judgement on your opinions when she admits herself that she doesn't read your blog. In my opinion, that makes her rant ignorant and I can't value a thing that she says. As far as you speaking in a pretentious way, that's absolutely rediculous. You should not be expected to dumb-down your language for the less eloquent. Write on Pat Dobson, write on!
BJ
-BJ
Pat: Note - All those that decide to praise my work while simultaneously being critical of my detractors will be posted in the Mailbag, no questions asked. Then again, everyone is going to get posted in the mailbag because I barely get any bloody emails. Am I really so boring? Blah! Send in your responses, I know you crazies don't agree with everything I say.
My name is Pat I like cock it makes me happy in my mouth. I like to smell girls hair and eat boys butts. I smoke like a fiend and drink like a sailor with a monkey.speaking of monkeys I would like to have sex with a monkey someday because the pirates of the Caribbean says it’s the cool thing to do. I like tacos but not pink ones. I like hotdogs and not hamburgers. Sometimes I smell my feet. They smell bad…like a possum that was run over with a Mac truck last week and it’s 90 degrees out and the humidity is really high. Yes I am smelly. I like it when people tell me I’m smelly, it makes me feel manly. Manly men go and fuck monkeys. EEE OOO EEEEEE EEEE I AM a monkey!
-Jessy G
Pat: The preceding message has been paid for by the national D.A.R.E. program. Kids, don't do drugs.
That's it for this edition of the mailbag. I promise it will get longer when I get more emails. I'll give Chuckles more alcohol tonight and see if we can't get another rant out of him
Tschüs!